Lifelong Learning Programme

This project has been funded with support from the European Commission.
This material reflects the views only of the author, and the Commission cannot be held responsible for any use which may be made of the information contained therein

Also available in:

Case Studies

Homepage > Case Studies

Case Studies

Language: English
Context: Vilnius multiple sclerosis society from the Sptember 2008
Title of document: To live too
Name of compiler: Aldona Droseikiene
Actors involved: Julius and Jurate (he and she with MS)
Description of the experience:
When Julius first met Jurate , they lived in a different towns.Julius lived with his father in the capital and Jurate with her daughter in the small provincial town.Julius just after many years told us the story which seems very interesting.He told that many years ago, he met a woman whom he found very unpleasant, moreover with the desease as he has.( They both has multiple sclerosis.)So he decided to try out the "giving leads to love" theory. One day he invited her for dinner. A few days later he offered to help her with a personal problem. On another occasion he read something she'd written and offered feedback and praise. Today they have a warm relationship. Julius says that this disease affects everyone very differently. However, people with good understanding of one another, because everyone has to experience nearly all existing symptoms. At the moment Jurate disease "feel their feet, it is difficult to go. Julius says that his legs are still listening, but the head is very strange. If you need to walk more, she begins to feel.We understand each other, if she says that she is tired, then I understand and say, go lie down. You do not see by another person condemning the other. We understood each other, the fatigue strength to the absence, poor mood, sadness. There is nothing to explain, "- we do not waste time for explanation-says Julius.
Jurate listening to Julius smiles and says that although they see around themselves all kinds of transformations of the disease and those who may be frightened, they will always remain an optimist. And adds: "well-minded, optimistic calm. That gives him some kind of optimism about the inner peace to all. And for me. I know it can be difficult, but we have not lost hope, and hope for tomorrow.
WE are together ,we love each other and help each other to live with MS.

Objectives:
The disease brought into Julius life a lot of friends and he found a spiritual friends. Do not scold the disease... Julius believes that everything will be fine, there will be a new drugs and the disease will let him live without suffering. ""I am me and I will not be bad. My childhood was very good, everything went without any problems. I was sixteen when my mommy died. It was the first painful blow. Just lack of female love...

Means and Strategy:
The means are to help people understand love and to point out the everyday habits that we think protect relationships and in fact helps psychologically. The most common question, when people hear about disabled couple falling in love, is to sidle up and ask: is it really possible to fall in love or just to adapt to each other? The Julius gave an answer. What’s more, couples can emerge with a better understanding of themselves, each other and a stronger bond. This story explains why and how.
Conclusions:
This story is an example of an important rule for life:The more you give, the more you love.
Name of Institution: Lithuanian multiple sclerosis union
Role: manager

back to the list