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Personal Experience

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Impermeability to the emotions

Language: English
Country: Italy
Typology: patients and relatives
These are the words of one of my patients in a period of severe crisis: "I can no longer hear anything. Or, rather, I can not answer anything. I can not answer anything. I collected so many things, I was trapped in so many things, that I can no longer move. And I see a truck coming in my direction. The frenzy that I feel, the continued agitation, is because I see the truck coming up and I can not move, I can not hear anything. I can not think of anything. I can not feel how I am. Because I'm not. I'm not just anywhere, I'm not on a chair, I'm not on one leg, I'm not on the balcony, I'm not standing on the street, I do not go to the bathroom, I do not rest on the bed, I do not read the newspaper, not I'm writing, I do not despair, I do not laugh, I do not steal your neighbor's newspaper, I do not breathe the air, I do not do shit, I hope not, I do not think, I do not want, do not wish, I do not believe in something, I do not hope for anything. I feel, at best, no longer have any control over me, on the reality that surrounds me. It’s like I move on site all the time, without going anywhere. As if he had gone a program of self-destruction. As if the world was over for me. I no longer feel the world. The world no longer exists for me, is not there. The world is not there. I do not feel in any way in the world.”. I was struck by the very absolute, apparent, impermeability to the emotions that had been created. But going beyond the surface of the words, the message was a warm call for help and, above all, a willingness to be helped. How they did. Sometimes we settle for the more superficial readings, when, without excesses, we should still try to offer our availability.

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