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Personal Experience

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Justína

Justína
Language: English
Country: Slovakia
Typology: patients and relatives
Text:
1.1 Description of the client by herself My name is Justina and I was born as a twin. My brother died during the birth giving. My mom has never been pregnant afterward so I stayed as an only child, wanted and loved child who has always been at the first place. In the first class I had only A grades. I was one of the smartest kids, but later something happened. I started to grow lean, but examinations did not show anything. After couple of moths it turned out that I suffer of acute malnutrition. The doctor looked at my mom as if she was a murderer, but soon he found out the truth. He claimed that practically I did not eat for months. I do not think so, I just ate a little bit less. When my mom brought me the food to my bed I threw it under the bed and at night I flushed it to the toilet because I did not want her to see it. 1.2 Experience of the client with the service I was sitting on the bed and on the opposite side was sitting the nurse. She was beautiful but a little bit fat. She asked me: “You know that when you won’t eat you will die, right?” and I answered: “Yes, many people already told me that.” The nurse said: “That is the reason why we introduced you a probe, to prevent your death. I know that you do not agree with it but we did it to save your life.” She did not understand me. I do not want to die, I just do not want to eat. Eating is the worst thing for me. People say that eating is easy, somebody may say that also anorexics have to manage it. That they should not be fable and sulk, they just have to eat. But I am not sulking. I just do not eat. I do not want and I do not need it. Yesterday I finally met another one with anorexia. She was standing near to the window and she was beautiful. I asked the nurse: “Why is she allowed to be so thin?” and she said: “Thin? She weighs more than you do!” They say I am ill, but I am not, I do not feel like ill. I am not crazy, but in a few days they want to send me to psychiatry. Do you understand? As if I was crazy, but I am not. Give me whatever question and I will answer it to you. I cannot even dance here. I cannot do anything. But ballerinas are so beautiful, as if they were from the other world. I also wanted to be a ballerina, but I was fat. I am twelve now and so it is late for me to do it. Soňa started to dance in a kinder garden and now she is perfect. They give me that disgusting food through the tube, at least I do not have to swallow it. Food is so repulsive. Once I did not even had to go to the toilet. It was so horrible. Now I go once a week. They do not understand it, they do not know what is good. They say they want to help me, but I do not want their help. They do not have to. I am not ill. I do not eat. Water is enough for me, just a few glasses though because I do not want to gain weight. My mom wants me to gain weight but I do not want to have a big butt. It is so disgusting.


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