Lifelong Learning Programme

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Personal Experience

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In the end it is about love

Erika Hijkoop
Language: English
Country: Romania
Typology: health care professionals
Mrs. R. submit her own file to our care center. She is the first person to submit a request for accommodation for herself . Usually someone comes in with family or circle of friends . A few years ago Mrs R had visited a friend in our centre who was kept until the end of life in our center. Mrs R reaches a situation with an incurable disease and remembers care center where her friend had once been accommodated . She gathers the necessary paperwork and comes in one day with her son at the center applying for accommodation . The file is approved and we decide that Mrs R will come when she feels ready. A couple months later comes the time. Her son calls us and by chance or not, we have free spaces. The lady is accommodated. The atmosphere of the house makes her feel like home. She 's talking on the phone with her brother , who lives abroad, and who does not understand why she does not want to stay home. She explains that now she feels at home. She hopes to bring some things from home. So it happens that one day one of the nurses strive to bomb a hole in a wall hung a few paintings of Mrs. R. Mrs.R life is enriched with many beautiful relationships . And these relationships are maintained in this difficult period in her life . She has many friends . A group of 6 ladies come often to visit her . A special day is the birthday of Mrs. R. and the other ladies in the room were part of this little party with juice and cookies. Mrs. likes to talk and has the ability to talk to each to his level. Especially the night shift nurses and carers find time to talk to her. I talk much about her childhood , about her first questions about faith and about the meaning of life . I found that she likes poetry and I tend to print every day before leaving home a poem . Sometimes we talk the next day about this poem. Increasingly she speaks about the reasons that she thinks has to go through this disease. At one point she tells a revelation received from God in our center . The lady has a spiritual father , a priest who she visits . They are known for years . At the center we are visited occasionally by a team from a beauty salon. Even if she is in quite a lot of pain , the lady manages to sit up and have her hair cut. The next day the lady says : " I felt a lady " . The lady is the only beneficiary who noticed that in our center there are not mirrors. And even appreciates that , she considers it smart. On the proposal of the psychologist, her son brings some personal photos . With the help of pictures, the lady tells about her life, about her husband , child , grandchild , friendship war , and so on . Often it comes at a time when saying " and it's all about love" and manages a large circle with her hands . She is struggling with illness and with death. At first she is determined to celebrate her birthday in May . And she succeeds . But increasingly the disease worsens . Increasingly thedevice needs more oxygen . She is determined to live until her nephew from abroad comes. But she looses the battle with the disease. She had feared not to die suffocated . Eventually she passes away quietly in the other world . Some of the team go to her funeral . The priest holds a beautiful service where he speaks more about professional and personal life of Mrs. R An emotional moment is when one of the friends of Mrs. comes to us , and, with tears in her eyes , thanks us for our special and personal care . From time to time her son comes to visit the other ladies that shared the room with his mother . After the death of Mrs. R we had the idea to place a guest book at the entrance so that family and friends of patients can write their impressions. Mrs. R. gave us many life lessons . God rest her soul.

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